Today is the Transgender Day of Visibility, a day born from a need to celebrate resilience and progress. But I must be honest: this year, the air feels so much heavier. As I look at the world around me, I am filled with a profound sense of anger and frustration. I find myself asking: where is the civility? Where is the humanity, the compassion, and the grace that should bind us together as children of the Divine?
We are living through unprecedented times. My community—a mere 1% of the population—is continually being hauled out to be publicly flogged in the town square for partisan political gain and to deflect attention from the real issues of the day that affect every single one of us. We are being used as a proverbial punching bag by those who fear our existence and seek nothing less than our total erasure.
The War on Our Existence
It is difficult to grasp what passes for “governance” today. We are witnessing a relentless bombardment of hate-filled executive orders and state-sponsored bills—literally hundreds of them—aimed at dismantling our right to fair treatment in every facet of life.
- In Idaho, we see the state pushing extreme measures like House Bill 752, which seeks to criminalize my very presence in public spaces by threatening a felony charge and up to five years in prison for simply using a bathroom that aligns with who we are.
- In Kansas, the state has moved to invalidate and revoke driver’s licenses that reflect our true identities, forcing us to carry documents that mark us as “other” and effectively “outing” us every time we try to rent a car, vote, or check into a hotel.
- Even at the highest level, the Supreme Court has signaled a dangerous willingness to let these attacks stand, recently allowing Idaho to enforce a ban on essential healthcare and signaling that our fundamental protections are on the chopping block.
I am tired of the false narratives and outright lies.
I am tired of being singled out and silenced because I somehow look “different.”
I am tired of being treated as an “ideology” rather than a human being.
They do not know me, and they will never know me because they choose not to. I used to say, “Give me ten minutes, and I can show you how much humanity we share, and that we are not all that different from one another.” But I just don’t think that will work anymore, as those who chose to hate are simply not interested in having that conversation.
Why I Stand Defiant
In the face of this vitriol and this ignorance, I am choosing defiance.
For four and a half decades, I lived in the shadows of shame, guilt, and denial. I know what it is like to hide just to survive. But I also know the power of taking that leap into the unknown and finding a bridge of radical hospitality and love on the other side.
They will never take that away from me.
Visibility is no longer just a choice; it is a necessity. I tell those who hate me, and those who love me, that I am not going away. I am a thread in the fabric of this community—I am your neighbor, your friend, your sibling, and your colleague. If you cut me, I bleed; my heart beats just like yours. My life and my journey are real and valid.
The Final Word: A Choice of Light
To our allies: we need your light now more than ever. You may not walk in my shoes, but you can stand beside me in solidarity. It takes courage to be vulnerable—to admit there is more to learn—but creating that space is how the soul is enriched. Your actions and your words of support are like the pebbles tossed into a still pond; the ripples they create can touch minds and hearts far wider than you imagine.
We are all charged with leaving this world better than we found it. We all possess the virtues to do so: our faith, our values, our integrity, and our grace.
They are our True North.
They may try to legislate us out of bathrooms, off of IDs, and out of the public square, but they cannot legislate the Divine out of my soul. They cannot draft a bill that undoes the truth of who I am. I will continue to shine my light, for a city built on a hill can never be hidden.
I am here. I am visible. I am a child of God—and I will NEVER be erased.
If you know someone still confused about the complexities surrounding transgender athletes in sports, send them this. Parker Molloy brilliantly summarizes John Oliver’s recent segment on hashtagLastWeekTonight, which offers a thoughtful and fact-based explanation that cuts through the noise. It effectively dismantles misinformation and exposes the real political motivations behind many of these bans. In short, it’s the most thoughtful and fact-based explanation you’ll find, directly challenging the hysteria and political opportunism driving this conversation. A must-watch for anyone seeking clarity on this important issue.
Stop the spread of misinformation by sharing this widely.
I will not be drawn into a debate over this. I am aware of the arguments of people who disagree with the statements below. I am posting this for all those who may be living in fear in this moment so you know you are not alone. I want to share this piece in solidarity.
This is where I stand. The 45/47th President, his power-hungry cronies taking positions of authority in his Cabinet and administration, and the majority of Republicans in Congress are a real and active threat to me, my way of life, and all or most of the people I love.
Some people are saying that we should give him a chance, that we should “work together” with him because he won the election and he is “everyone’s president.” This is my response:
- I will not forget how badly he and so many others treated former President Barack Obama for 8 years, and Biden cleaning up his mess…Lies about his legitimacy, hatred for his principles, and his attempts to work within the system.
- I will not “work together” to privatize Medicare, and cut Social Security and Medicaid.
- I will not “work together” to subvert the Constitution by illegitimately pushing unfit Cabinet nominees through on recess appointments without the advice and consent of the Senate.
- I will not “work together” to build a wall.
- I will not “work together” to persecute Muslims.
- I will not “work together” to persecute transgender people.
- I will not “work together” to shut out refugees from other countries who seek asylum.
- I will not “work together” to lower taxes on the 1% and increase taxes on the middle class and poor.
- I will not “work together” to help Trump use the Presidency to line his pockets and those of his family and cronies.
- I will not “work together” to weaken and demolish environmental protection.
- I will not “work together” to sell American lands, especially National Parks, to companies that then despoil those lands.
- I will not “work together” to enable the killing of whole species of animals just because they are predators, inconvenient for a few, or because some people want to get their thrills killing them.
- I will not “work together” to remove civil rights from anyone.
- I will not “work together” to alienate countries that have been our allies for as long as I have been alive.
- I will not “work together” to slash funding for education.
- I will not “work together” to take basic assistance from people who are at the bottom of the socioeconomic ladder.
- I will not “work together” to get rid of common sense regulations on guns.
- I will not “work together” to eliminate the minimum wage.
- I will not “work together” to support so-called “Right To Work” laws, or undermine, weaken or destroy Unions in any way.
- I will not “work together” to suppress scientific research, be it on climate change, fracking, or any other issue where a majority of scientists agree that Trump and his supporters are wrong on the facts.
- I will not “work together” to criminalize abortion or restrict health care for women.
- I will not “work together” to increase the number of nations that have nuclear weapons.
- I will not “work together” to put even more “big money” into politics.
- I will not “work together” to violate the Geneva Convention.
- I will not “work together” to give the Ku Klux Klan, the Nazi Party and white supremacists a seat at the table, or to normalize their hatred.
- I will not “work together” to deny health care to people who need it.
- I will not “work together” to deny medical coverage to people based on a “pre-existing condition.”
- I will not “work together” to increase voter suppression.
- I will not “work together” to normalize tyranny.
- I will not “work together” to eliminate or reduce ethical oversight at any level of government.
- I will not “work together” with anyone who is, or admires, tyrants and dictators.
- I will not support anyone who thinks it’s OK to put a pipeline to transport oil on Sacred Ground for Native Americans. And, it would run under the Missouri River, which provides drinking water for millions of people. An accident waiting to happen.
- I will not “work together” to legitimize racism, sexism, and authoritarianism.
This is my line, and I am drawing it.
- I WILL stand for honesty, love, respect for all living beings, and for the beating heart that is the center of Life itself.
- I WILL use my voice and my hands, to reach out to the uninformed, and to anyone who will LISTEN: that “winning”, “being great again”, “rich” or even “beautiful” is nothing… when others are sacrificed to glorify its existence.
As we move from Black History Month #blackhistorymonth and into Women’s History Month, #womenshistorymonth, the beautiful and poignant words of Maya Angelou #mayaangelou give me hope at a time when there is so much hate and bigotry directed at the transgender community. If only those that seek to legislate us out of existence would stop the nonsense and embrace the indisputable fact that we are . . . One Human Family . . . .
“I note the obvious differences
In the human family.
Some of us are serious,
Some thrive on comedy.
Some declare their lives are lived
As true profundity,
And others claim they really live
The real reality.
The variety of our skin tones
Can confuse, bemuse, delight,
Brown and pink and beige and purple,
Tan and blue and white.
I’ve sailed upon the seven seas
And stopped in every land,
I’ve seen the wonders of the world
Not yet one common man.
I know ten thousand women
Called Jane and Mary Jane,
But I’ve not seen any two
Who really were the same.
Mirror twins are different
Although their features jibe,
And lovers think quite different thoughts
While lying side by side.
We love and lose in China,
We weep on England’s moors,
And laugh and moan in Guinea,
And thrive on Spanish shores.
We seek success in Finland,
Are born and die in Maine.
In minor ways we differ,
In major we’re the same.
I note the obvious differences
Between each sort and type,
But we are more alike, my friends,
Than we are unalike.
We are more alike, my friends,
Than we are unalike.
We are more alike, my friends,
Than we are unalike.
Songwriters: Maya Angelou / Shawn Rivera
I’m Tired. I’m. So. Very. Tired . . .
Year after year, transgender individuals like me, their allies and advocates gather around the world to honor, and remember, once again, those in my community we have lost to senseless hate and violence in the past year. It is what has come to be known as the Transgender Day of Remembrance, or TDOR, for short. It was created 22 years ago by transgender advocate Gwendolyn Ann Smith as a vigil to honor the memory of Rita Hester, a transgender woman who was brutally murdered in Boston in 1998. And while it is the gracious, honorable and right thing to do – to recognize our dead – I am weary and yearn for the day when we won’t have any new names to read and candles to extinguish.
It has gone on for far too many years, and far too many lives. . .
A very wise person once said to me, “before you ever get to the answers, you must first get comfortable with the questions.” And I get that, but the nagging, unanswered questions continue to mount as each new murder is reported, or as is the case with many media accounts, misreported by not noting the victim’s preferred name, or worse yet not reported at all. But of all the unanswered questions about this utterly senseless loss of life, the one that stands above all others is: “Why?”
Sadly, my struggle for answers only creates more questions.
Why is it that the transgender community has been repeated hauled out to be publicly flogged in the town square to the delight of those who look to undermine, and yes, eradicate our right to fair treatment in all facets of our lives?