As we move from Black History Month #blackhistorymonth and into Women’s History Month, #womenshistorymonth, the beautiful and poignant words of Maya Angelou #mayaangelou give me hope at a time when there is so much hate and bigotry directed at the transgender community. If only those that seek to legislate us out of existence would stop the nonsense and embrace the indisputable fact that we are . . . One Human Family . . . .
“I note the obvious differences
In the human family.
Some of us are serious,
Some thrive on comedy.
Some declare their lives are lived
As true profundity,
And others claim they really live
The real reality.
The variety of our skin tones
Can confuse, bemuse, delight,
Brown and pink and beige and purple,
Tan and blue and white.
I’ve sailed upon the seven seas
And stopped in every land,
I’ve seen the wonders of the world
Not yet one common man.
I know ten thousand women
Called Jane and Mary Jane,
But I’ve not seen any two
Who really were the same.
Mirror twins are different
Although their features jibe,
And lovers think quite different thoughts
While lying side by side.
We love and lose in China,
We weep on England’s moors,
And laugh and moan in Guinea,
And thrive on Spanish shores.
We seek success in Finland,
Are born and die in Maine.
In minor ways we differ,
In major we’re the same.
I note the obvious differences
Between each sort and type,
But we are more alike, my friends,
Than we are unalike.
We are more alike, my friends,
Than we are unalike.
We are more alike, my friends,
Than we are unalike.
Songwriters: Maya Angelou / Shawn Rivera
Friday evening, March 3rd was a truly memorable evening as my wife Mari, son Andrew and I celebrated the 50th Anniversary of PFLAG National/Straight for Equality at the New York Marriott Marquis in New York City! An amazing organization that I have proudly served as a Board member of for the last seven years.
A big shout out to Farah Bala, PCC of THE FARSIGHT AGENCY for kindly being a gala sponsor and joining us at our table, along with the amazing Chris Mosier (he/him) of #Transathlete.com, which is a comprehensive resource for students, athletes, coaches, and administrators to find information about trans inclusion in athletics-at all levels! Thank You for what you do and so wonderful to meet you, my brother!
With Transgender Day of Visibility here once again, I find myself thinking a lot about the word vulnerability. At one of my most recent speaking engagements I challenged the audience with this question, “What is your relationship with vulnerability?” I’m willing to bet that for many of you reading this, that is something that you rarely think about – because why would you in the first place? You may find yourself in the fortunate position of being gainfully employed, with a roof over your head and food in the cupboard. So why would a concept like vulnerability ever enter your stream of consciousness? The simple answers to these questions are that you wouldn’t – probably never. And judging by the collective “Hmmmm” sound the audience made I doubt they had too.
The exact opposite, however, is true for far too many transgender people who choose to be visible in our society. By being visible as their authentic selves they risk being vilified by those who choose hate and fear over knowledge and allyship. And for transwomen of color, this can be particularly dangerous, leading to being victims of violence at alarming levels. Everywhere we turn it seems as though there is another anti-trans bill being rushed through conservative-led statehouses that seek nothing more than to eradicate the existence of transgender people of all ages.
But what choice is there? To remain silent and shuttered away never to be seen in public is simply not an option. Yes, we are different – and if you stop long enough to listen to the stories of our journeys to our authentic selves, trust me, you’ll be moved because they are powerful beyond measure.
But there’s another side to vulnerability that I’d like to bring to your attention. As we begin to change the narrative that seeks to position my entire community as a political wedge issue it is vitally important that we have ever-increasing numbers of allies by our side, standing in solidarity with our quest for equality and inclusion. And at the very core of allyship is education. I have learned over 17 years of talks and trainings that for learning to truly happen, one must allow themselves to be vulnerable. To say to yourself, or out loud, “I don’t know everything, but I’m willing to learn.” It is at that precise moment that the heart, the mind, and the soul open and allows teaching to take hold.
By being intentional about learning and allowing that experience to fuel our allyship is how we begin to move the needle on equality and inclusion for transgender individuals of all stripes and all ages. It can be a truly transformative experience – if you let it. And that’s something to consider not just on the Transgender Day of Visibility, but every day of the year.