I am a trans elder.
There, I said it.
For perhaps the first time in my life, I am fully embracing and owning that fact.
Initially, I struggled to write a message of hope for Pride Month this year. It is hard to find the right words when we are constantly inundated with hateful misinformation and disinformation from those who seek nothing less than the total eradication of the transgender community.
There is an active, coordinated effort to completely erase our existence from the history of the United States and the world.
Living on the tip of the culture war spear is exhausting, and, I might add, something we never asked for (but I digress). So, finding hope in the current landscape can feel nearly impossible. Our community is embattled at every level of government and in every corner of society—not just here in the U.S., but across the globe.
So, where do we find the hope?
I recently caught up with my dear friend and trans icon, Jamison Green, PhD . As we chatted about our lives, our loved ones, and how we are holding up in today’s hostile environment, our conversation turned to legacy. We talked about how we, as elders, are being seen and heard by the younger generations of trans men and trans women.
While most of our interactions have been deeply positive, James shared a troubling trend. A small minority of the younger generation seems to have little to no regard for hearing our stories of becoming our true selves. The dismissals usually sound something like this:
● “You’re irrelevant.”
“That was so long ago, things have changed.”
● “That just doesn’t apply to me and my generation.”
With everything happening to our community right now, there is simply no room for that brand of dismissiveness.
The Connective Tissue Across Generations
I fully recognize that our specific circumstances are different. The world was a completely different place when I came out in 2004, just as it was a different place when James came out in 1988. But different circumstances do not make histories irrelevant.
As James beautifully put it: “Our history is now more important than ever.” Another close friend once reminded me: “We are our history.” We cannot afford to lose sight of that.
If we want to find hope this Pride and beyond, the times call on us, as trans and queer people, to focus entirely on what we have in common. We share powerful, universal experiences that transcend time:
● The Moment of Truth: That profound second where we said to ourselves—and to anyone who could hear us—”This IS who I am. I am no longer going to hide my authentic self from the world.”
Or, as Anai Nin so eloquently put it, “And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.”
● The Daily Practice: The universal notion of “living into yourself” each and every day – in ways that no one else can see.
● The Shared Core: The resilience and fortitude we develop as we walk this path.
This resilience is the connective tissue that spans generations. It is what binds us together as ONE community at a time when unity is our best defense.
The Road Ahead: Buckle Up
We need this unity immediately. The mid-term elections are a mere five months away. Do you think for a second that the despicable rhetoric surrounding the transgender community is going to lessen?
To that, I say: “Buckle up. You ain’t seen nothing yet!”
True hope requires us to create space to learn from one another. Elders must listen to the unique challenges of today’s youth, and the youth must anchor themselves in the roots of those who cleared the path.
This June, let’s reject the generational divide. Let’s protect our collective narrative, honor our survivors, and remember that our visibility is our power.
We. Are. Our. History.
Let’s own it, let’s protect it, write the next chapter of it, and march forward—together.
Happy Pride Everyone!!!
In today’s challenging times, the call for unity within the LGBTQ+ community is not merely a political slogan but a critical choice for our collective survival and liberation. As my friend and colleague in the Movement, Fabrice C Houdart astutely observed in his recent blog “On The Difficult Question of Global LGBTQ+ Unity,”“LGBTQ+ solidarity is always built; it can never be assumed.” And from my particular perspective as a transwoman, I feel like I have been banging the drum on precisely that point for nearly two decades now! Simply put, it must be a conscious decision to stand together, particularly between the gay and trans communities, who, despite the perceived rifts, share a foundational experience that binds them far more than it divides them.
At our core, we are all on a journey of following our hearts to our true and authentic selves, and it is this shared path that must be the foundation of our renewed solidarity. And here’s the thing, whether we care to admit or not, the playing field has flipped on us all. Those currently in power have come after my community with a vengeance, but do you honestly think they’re going to stop there? How long do you think it’s going to take them to turn their attention in full effect on the gay community by, among other things, coming after marriage – as if they haven’t already begun to do so by propping up disgraced Rowan County, Kentucky clerk Kim Davis?
So what should we do? Perhaps we should start by recognizing that the connections between the trans and gay communities run deeper than theoretical debates or political nuances. While Fabrice notes that some “gay individuals” question the link between the two, he rightly dismisses these discussions as “distractions and cop-outs.” The truth is, the pursuit of an authentic life is a universal struggle within our community.
For a gay man or woman, this means bravely loving whom they choose in a world that often demands conformity. For a trans person, it means living in a gender that aligns with their internal truth, despite the external pressures to conform to their assigned sex at birth. Both journeys require a similar courage to defy societal expectations and embrace a personal truth that is often met with misunderstanding, hostility, or outright denial. This shared act of self-realization is our most powerful common ground.
And lest we forget, being trans isn’t totally an exclusive experience. In other words, the fact that I identify as trans does not exclude the reality that – as a person happily married (in Florida!) to another transwoman – I am also a lesbian. And as such this is a perfect example of the core foundational concepts that we all embody: each one of us has a gender identity and a sexual orientation of some variety that we embrace as our authentic self.
This unity is not just a matter of principle; it is a necessity in the face of a growing and indiscriminate threat. What is crucial to recognize is that these attacks do not discriminate. The laws and rhetoric that target trans people inevitably create a hostile environment for the entire community. The erosion of rights in one part of our community is a foothold for the further erosion of rights for us all. We are all under attack, and the only effective defense is a unified front.
Ultimately, unity is the last rampart in our fight for queer liberation. It requires us to consciously extend empathy across boundaries and to build a community that everyone is proud to belong to again.
The bond between the trans and gay communities, forged in the shared experience of seeking our authentic selves in a hostile world, is a powerful force. By recognizing this profound connection and taking responsibility for our collective fate, we can build a solidarity that is both a bulwark against our enemies and a beacon of hope for all who are searching for their true and authentic selves.
I will not be drawn into a debate over this. I am aware of the arguments of people who disagree with the statements below. I am posting this for all those who may be living in fear in this moment so you know you are not alone. I want to share this piece in solidarity.
This is where I stand. The 45/47th President, his power-hungry cronies taking positions of authority in his Cabinet and administration, and the majority of Republicans in Congress are a real and active threat to me, my way of life, and all or most of the people I love.
Some people are saying that we should give him a chance, that we should “work together” with him because he won the election and he is “everyone’s president.” This is my response:
- I will not forget how badly he and so many others treated former President Barack Obama for 8 years, and Biden cleaning up his mess…Lies about his legitimacy, hatred for his principles, and his attempts to work within the system.
- I will not “work together” to privatize Medicare, and cut Social Security and Medicaid.
- I will not “work together” to subvert the Constitution by illegitimately pushing unfit Cabinet nominees through on recess appointments without the advice and consent of the Senate.
- I will not “work together” to build a wall.
- I will not “work together” to persecute Muslims.
- I will not “work together” to persecute transgender people.
- I will not “work together” to shut out refugees from other countries who seek asylum.
- I will not “work together” to lower taxes on the 1% and increase taxes on the middle class and poor.
- I will not “work together” to help Trump use the Presidency to line his pockets and those of his family and cronies.
- I will not “work together” to weaken and demolish environmental protection.
- I will not “work together” to sell American lands, especially National Parks, to companies that then despoil those lands.
- I will not “work together” to enable the killing of whole species of animals just because they are predators, inconvenient for a few, or because some people want to get their thrills killing them.
- I will not “work together” to remove civil rights from anyone.
- I will not “work together” to alienate countries that have been our allies for as long as I have been alive.
- I will not “work together” to slash funding for education.
- I will not “work together” to take basic assistance from people who are at the bottom of the socioeconomic ladder.
- I will not “work together” to get rid of common sense regulations on guns.
- I will not “work together” to eliminate the minimum wage.
- I will not “work together” to support so-called “Right To Work” laws, or undermine, weaken or destroy Unions in any way.
- I will not “work together” to suppress scientific research, be it on climate change, fracking, or any other issue where a majority of scientists agree that Trump and his supporters are wrong on the facts.
- I will not “work together” to criminalize abortion or restrict health care for women.
- I will not “work together” to increase the number of nations that have nuclear weapons.
- I will not “work together” to put even more “big money” into politics.
- I will not “work together” to violate the Geneva Convention.
- I will not “work together” to give the Ku Klux Klan, the Nazi Party and white supremacists a seat at the table, or to normalize their hatred.
- I will not “work together” to deny health care to people who need it.
- I will not “work together” to deny medical coverage to people based on a “pre-existing condition.”
- I will not “work together” to increase voter suppression.
- I will not “work together” to normalize tyranny.
- I will not “work together” to eliminate or reduce ethical oversight at any level of government.
- I will not “work together” with anyone who is, or admires, tyrants and dictators.
- I will not support anyone who thinks it’s OK to put a pipeline to transport oil on Sacred Ground for Native Americans. And, it would run under the Missouri River, which provides drinking water for millions of people. An accident waiting to happen.
- I will not “work together” to legitimize racism, sexism, and authoritarianism.
This is my line, and I am drawing it.
- I WILL stand for honesty, love, respect for all living beings, and for the beating heart that is the center of Life itself.
- I WILL use my voice and my hands, to reach out to the uninformed, and to anyone who will LISTEN: that “winning”, “being great again”, “rich” or even “beautiful” is nothing… when others are sacrificed to glorify its existence.
In the spirit of Transgender Awareness Week, I thought it appropriate to share this piece, which was featured in the latest issue of DAPHealth Magazine. My heartfelt thanks go out to Daniel Vaillancourt and the entire team at DAPHealth and Stonewall Medical Center for including me and my amazing son Andrew, who has walked with me on just about every step of my journey to my authentic self.
A BIG THANK YOU to Stephanie Eckersley-Ray and Steven Garibell and the entire team at TD Bank for including me in last Thursday’s AMCB Pride event! It was truly a transformative day for me and a real honor to be included in the program. I was so touched by the energy and passion that was in the room – and the commitment to evolving the already inclusive culture that has been built. You and all of your colleagues should be so very proud of all that you have accomplished – not only in making the event happen but for the positive, inclusive impact you have had and no doubt will continue to have on the culture at TD Bank!
