Are you a Stranger Things fan? Even if you haven’t ventured into the Upside Down, there’s a moment with the character Robin Buckley that perfectly captures the heart of what it means to survive a challenging year.  Somewhat surprisingly, she is the compass for the journey I’ve been on this year, and the lesson I finally learned.

This past year, for me and for the community I love and am so fiercely proud to be a part of, it has felt like walking through a minefield. We’ve faced attack after attack, challenge after challenge, on our very right to exist. The sheer volume of the noise—the hate, the bigotry, the legislative assaults—has been relentless. It wasn’t just mental; by the time summer rolled around, I was drained, emotionally and physically. I had nothing left to give.

My wife and I took a trip to Canada to visit friends, seeking a momentary reprieve, a place where the air felt lighter, and admittedly a recon mission of sorts to determine is this a place we could live if things went totally off the rails. And when it was time to leave, I won’t lie: the thought of returning to the country of my birth, where the constant fight was waiting, felt heavy, almost impossible. That pervasive fog, that low-grade malaise, was following me everywhere.

Then, something wonderful happened. I got the call that would change everything: an invitation to speak from the main stage, co-lead a Leadership Lab day, and participate in featured panels in front of nearly 3,000 people at this year’s Out & Equal Summit in Seattle, Washington.

I was still days away from walking on stage, but the moment I stepped into the convention center space, I felt the energy shift. It was a massive, collective exhale. I was instantly surrounded by people who celebrated one another simply for being their authentic selves. This was a place where belonging was the default, where grace was given freely, and where our shared humanity was the only flag we waved. The fog that had clouded my vision for months began to dissolve before my eyes.

The exhaustion didn’t vanish instantly, but the burden did. And that’s where Robin’s story becomes my own.

In that unforgettable scene in the latest episode of season 5, Robin – in a moment of sheer vulnerability – talks to Will about thinking how she needed someone else—“Tone-deaf Tammy”—to be able to be herself, because a part of her self “kind of scared” her. She searched for answers and validation in others. But after a moment of clarity, looking back at her younger, fearless self, she has a profound realization:

“It was never about Tone-deaf Tammy. It was always just about me… I had all the answers. I just needed to stop being so goddamn scared. Scared of… who I really was. Once I did that, whew, I felt so free. It’s like I could fly, you know? Like, I could finally be… Rockin’ Robin.”

That is the feeling that washed over me on that main stage. The applause, the energy, the collective joy—it wasn’t for a performance or a perfected persona. It was formy authentic self, validated by thousands of people who understood what the search for that same vulnerable, yet unbreakable, strength is all about. In that moment, I realized I was more powerful, more fabulous, than I had ever allowed myself to imagine when, for so many years–decades, really – all I could focus on was how the world around me seemed to be working overtime to shrink me down and prevent me from embracing my authentic self.

In these unprecedented times, the simple act of existing authentically is revolutionary. We must hold on tightly to that authenticity—our identities, our truths, our joy—like a rare and brilliant jewel. We must refuse to let anyone, through legislation or rhetoric, take it away from us. Because, as Robin found, and as I found on that stage, your deepest authenticity is not a vulnerability; it is the single greatest source of your strength and your power. It is your right to fly.

From that stage, I made a commitment to everyone there and to our community at large:“I’ve Got Your Back!” And that is a promise I will never retreat from. We are all in this together, and it truly takes a village to lift us all up. If you or someone you know needs a boost —needs to know they are amazing and that they matter —please tell them to reach out to me—my website , is best—and I will connect with them.

We WILL triumph, just like Rockin’ Robin!