What a Superhero Movie and Dolly Parton Taught Me About the Machinery of Bigotry.
We went to see the new Spider-Man movie for the second time on Tuesday, and Mari and I sat side-by-side in the dark, crying like babies.
Part of it, undoubtedly, was the timing. Tuesday was the day we lost Dolly Parton—a woman who spent her entire life reminding the world that kindness is a superpower, that empathy has no boundaries, and that every single one of us is a divine child of God, perfectly and wonderfully made. Losing a national treasure like Dolly feels like a collective tear in the cultural fabric, a sudden dimming of a very bright room, especially at a moment when we need her radical, inclusive joy more than ever.
As the credits rolled and the emotional weight of the day settled over us, a specific monologue from Spidey’s Aunt May kept echoing in my mind. It cut straight through the cinematic noise and landed right on the raw, exhausting reality of what the trans community is facing today. In a political climate where continuous attacks from the current administration and various state legislatures attempt to legislate our humanity away, her words felt less like a movie quote and more like a lifeline:
“This whole thing can get really scary, but sometimes because you’re special, people can do dark, monstrous things to you. But this is what I want you to know: You’re beautiful. And the people who love you love you not because you’re special. We love you because you’re you. I want you to remember that no matter how powerful you become, that’s your deepest responsibility.”
It stopped me in my tracks. Because isn’t that the exact machinery of bigotry? When people step into their authentic truth—when they dare to live out loud, beautifully and unapologetically, refusing to hide who they are—fearful, rigid systems try to do dark, monstrous things to shrink them back down. The legislative bans, the administrative hostility, the constant political crosshairs—they aren’t about policy or protection. They are a direct, systematic assault on human dignity. They are designed to exhaust us, to make people feel small, isolated, and hunted for simply existing.
The architects of this anti-trans legislation want the world to believe that our existence is a threat. But Dolly understood the exact opposite. She knew that it is our very uniqueness that creates a more vibrant, beautiful, and deeply human world.
Dolly famously commanded us to “Find out who you are and do it on purpose.” She didn’t just tolerate differences; she celebrated them, knowing inherently that someone else’s radiant authenticity poses no danger to your own. We should not feel falsely threatened by the beautiful diversity of the human experience—as all of our detractors would have the world believe.
The antidote to cruelty has always been connection, visibility, and unyielding love. It’s whispered in a superhero movie, and it was lived out every single day by Dolly, who famously reminded us that we should just be accepted for who we are.
You are loved because you are you.
Not because you fit neatly into a manufactured, majority-approved mold. But because your existence is inherently valuable, sacred, and true.
We are here. We are divine children of God. And no amount of political posturing, institutional hostility, or manufactured panic can strip away that core, radiant truth.
May’s reminder to Peter Parker (and, lest we forget, Jean Grey) is a clarion call to all of us who bear the weight of visibility and resilience right now. Our deepest responsibility is to hold onto that love, to stand shoulder-to-shoulder, to protect one another in the dark, and to refuse to let the monsters dim our light.
But that responsibility also extends outward, demanding action from anyone who witnesses this injustice. The machinery of bigotry thrives on silence, but it shatters in the face of active, uncompromising love.
Rest in peace, Dolly. We’ll keep shining anyway—because you left us with a mandate we refuse to break: to look past the political noise, tear down the artificial divides, and honor the sacred, undeniable humanness in every single soul we meet. You’d expect nothing less from us.
And to everyone reading this, I challenge you to look inward and ask yourself: What can I do to make our world a more loving and accepting place—for everyone?
As I marched with my church community in the Palm Springs Pride Parade this past Sunday, the air was electric with a kind of communal joy—a vibrant, overwhelming affirmation of love and selfhood. Amidst the music and cheering, my small act was simple: handing miniature Progress Pride flags to the children lining the route. Each time, the interaction followed the same beautiful, hopeful script.
A child would take the flag, offer a polite “thank you,” and then, almost instantly, their eyes would land on my t-shirt. With zero hesitation, they would declare, “I like your shirt!”
The shirt’s message was not subtle, yet it was profound in its clarity: “Trans Rights Are Human Rights.” To an adult, this phrase is a battle cry, a political statement, a subject of endless, often exhausting, debate. But to these young minds, the message was something else entirely. It was an immediate, unfiltered yes. It was a recognition, a simple equation where the variables—trans people and human rights—equaled one obvious, undeniable truth. That unburdened clarity, offered by a generation not yet steeped in social division or political cynicism, was a profound and unexpected gift.
This gift of hope is especially vital now, as we pivot from the celebratory atmosphere of Pride to the solemn and reflective period of Transgender Awareness Week, culminating in the Transgender Day of Remembrance (TDOR). This week is heavy. It forces us to confront the relentless policy attacks, the systemic discrimination, and the heartbreaking violence that results in lives cut short. TDOR is a necessary, painful ritual of grieving for those we have lost—a catalog of names that should not be a list of martyrs, but rather a list of people who deserved to live fully and fearlessly.
The solemnity of TDOR and the violence it commemorates can feel overwhelming, threatening to drown out the joy I experienced on the street in downtown Palm Springs. Yet, the hope gifted by those children is not naive; it is essential fuel. The spontaneous “I like your shirt!” is a living promise that the future is already wired differently. When a child instinctively affirms that Trans Rights Are Human Rights, they are rejecting the very prejudices that cost lives.
Our act of remembrance, therefore, is not merely about mourning the past; it is about keeping a solemn promise to the future. It is a vow to build the world that those we lost deserved—a world where the dignity and inherent worth of every transgender person is recognized not as a political victory, but as a given fact of existence. The children, with their immediate acceptance, show us that this basic human understanding is achievable. They remind us that the heart’s instinct is acceptance, and it is the responsibility of this generation to clear the noise and politics so that instinct can prevail. The fight for rights is necessary, but the foundational hope is already secured in the hearts of the youngest among us.
In today’s challenging times, the call for unity within the LGBTQ+ community is not merely a political slogan but a critical choice for our collective survival and liberation. As my friend and colleague in the Movement, Fabrice C Houdart astutely observed in his recent blog “On The Difficult Question of Global LGBTQ+ Unity,”“LGBTQ+ solidarity is always built; it can never be assumed.” And from my particular perspective as a transwoman, I feel like I have been banging the drum on precisely that point for nearly two decades now! Simply put, it must be a conscious decision to stand together, particularly between the gay and trans communities, who, despite the perceived rifts, share a foundational experience that binds them far more than it divides them.
At our core, we are all on a journey of following our hearts to our true and authentic selves, and it is this shared path that must be the foundation of our renewed solidarity. And here’s the thing, whether we care to admit or not, the playing field has flipped on us all. Those currently in power have come after my community with a vengeance, but do you honestly think they’re going to stop there? How long do you think it’s going to take them to turn their attention in full effect on the gay community by, among other things, coming after marriage – as if they haven’t already begun to do so by propping up disgraced Rowan County, Kentucky clerk Kim Davis?
So what should we do? Perhaps we should start by recognizing that the connections between the trans and gay communities run deeper than theoretical debates or political nuances. While Fabrice notes that some “gay individuals” question the link between the two, he rightly dismisses these discussions as “distractions and cop-outs.” The truth is, the pursuit of an authentic life is a universal struggle within our community.
For a gay man or woman, this means bravely loving whom they choose in a world that often demands conformity. For a trans person, it means living in a gender that aligns with their internal truth, despite the external pressures to conform to their assigned sex at birth. Both journeys require a similar courage to defy societal expectations and embrace a personal truth that is often met with misunderstanding, hostility, or outright denial. This shared act of self-realization is our most powerful common ground.
And lest we forget, being trans isn’t totally an exclusive experience. In other words, the fact that I identify as trans does not exclude the reality that – as a person happily married (in Florida!) to another transwoman – I am also a lesbian. And as such this is a perfect example of the core foundational concepts that we all embody: each one of us has a gender identity and a sexual orientation of some variety that we embrace as our authentic self.
This unity is not just a matter of principle; it is a necessity in the face of a growing and indiscriminate threat. What is crucial to recognize is that these attacks do not discriminate. The laws and rhetoric that target trans people inevitably create a hostile environment for the entire community. The erosion of rights in one part of our community is a foothold for the further erosion of rights for us all. We are all under attack, and the only effective defense is a unified front.
Ultimately, unity is the last rampart in our fight for queer liberation. It requires us to consciously extend empathy across boundaries and to build a community that everyone is proud to belong to again.
The bond between the trans and gay communities, forged in the shared experience of seeking our authentic selves in a hostile world, is a powerful force. By recognizing this profound connection and taking responsibility for our collective fate, we can build a solidarity that is both a bulwark against our enemies and a beacon of hope for all who are searching for their true and authentic selves.
I will not be drawn into a debate over this. I am aware of the arguments of people who disagree with the statements below. I am posting this for all those who may be living in fear in this moment so you know you are not alone. I want to share this piece in solidarity.
This is where I stand. The 45/47th President, his power-hungry cronies taking positions of authority in his Cabinet and administration, and the majority of Republicans in Congress are a real and active threat to me, my way of life, and all or most of the people I love.
Some people are saying that we should give him a chance, that we should “work together” with him because he won the election and he is “everyone’s president.” This is my response:
- I will not forget how badly he and so many others treated former President Barack Obama for 8 years, and Biden cleaning up his mess…Lies about his legitimacy, hatred for his principles, and his attempts to work within the system.
- I will not “work together” to privatize Medicare, and cut Social Security and Medicaid.
- I will not “work together” to subvert the Constitution by illegitimately pushing unfit Cabinet nominees through on recess appointments without the advice and consent of the Senate.
- I will not “work together” to build a wall.
- I will not “work together” to persecute Muslims.
- I will not “work together” to persecute transgender people.
- I will not “work together” to shut out refugees from other countries who seek asylum.
- I will not “work together” to lower taxes on the 1% and increase taxes on the middle class and poor.
- I will not “work together” to help Trump use the Presidency to line his pockets and those of his family and cronies.
- I will not “work together” to weaken and demolish environmental protection.
- I will not “work together” to sell American lands, especially National Parks, to companies that then despoil those lands.
- I will not “work together” to enable the killing of whole species of animals just because they are predators, inconvenient for a few, or because some people want to get their thrills killing them.
- I will not “work together” to remove civil rights from anyone.
- I will not “work together” to alienate countries that have been our allies for as long as I have been alive.
- I will not “work together” to slash funding for education.
- I will not “work together” to take basic assistance from people who are at the bottom of the socioeconomic ladder.
- I will not “work together” to get rid of common sense regulations on guns.
- I will not “work together” to eliminate the minimum wage.
- I will not “work together” to support so-called “Right To Work” laws, or undermine, weaken or destroy Unions in any way.
- I will not “work together” to suppress scientific research, be it on climate change, fracking, or any other issue where a majority of scientists agree that Trump and his supporters are wrong on the facts.
- I will not “work together” to criminalize abortion or restrict health care for women.
- I will not “work together” to increase the number of nations that have nuclear weapons.
- I will not “work together” to put even more “big money” into politics.
- I will not “work together” to violate the Geneva Convention.
- I will not “work together” to give the Ku Klux Klan, the Nazi Party and white supremacists a seat at the table, or to normalize their hatred.
- I will not “work together” to deny health care to people who need it.
- I will not “work together” to deny medical coverage to people based on a “pre-existing condition.”
- I will not “work together” to increase voter suppression.
- I will not “work together” to normalize tyranny.
- I will not “work together” to eliminate or reduce ethical oversight at any level of government.
- I will not “work together” with anyone who is, or admires, tyrants and dictators.
- I will not support anyone who thinks it’s OK to put a pipeline to transport oil on Sacred Ground for Native Americans. And, it would run under the Missouri River, which provides drinking water for millions of people. An accident waiting to happen.
- I will not “work together” to legitimize racism, sexism, and authoritarianism.
This is my line, and I am drawing it.
- I WILL stand for honesty, love, respect for all living beings, and for the beating heart that is the center of Life itself.
- I WILL use my voice and my hands, to reach out to the uninformed, and to anyone who will LISTEN: that “winning”, “being great again”, “rich” or even “beautiful” is nothing… when others are sacrificed to glorify its existence.
In the spirit of Transgender Awareness Week, I thought it appropriate to share this piece, which was featured in the latest issue of DAPHealth Magazine. My heartfelt thanks go out to Daniel Vaillancourt and the entire team at DAPHealth and Stonewall Medical Center for including me and my amazing son Andrew, who has walked with me on just about every step of my journey to my authentic self.
